It's a (not so) great time to be a Tiger

All of a sudden I have that REM song in my head, you know, "It's been a bad day, please don't take my picture."
First this and now
this. I can't wait for the, "What's the 'M' stand for? Misdemeanor?" jokes to start.

Not so hot to be a Cub, either
Way to go Cubbies. First you blow a 3-0 lead in the ninth and lose in extras, then you can't score against the Mets, now its the Reds. Meanwhile the Giants are going to squeak through playing against contenders. Jeez.

Cluster fucked

Since when do you have to be a god damn mathematician to figure out who to root for to help your team win the Wild Card? I clearly can't root for the Giants, but if the Padres sweep, they could catch the Cubs, so I clearly can't root for the Padres. Then there's the quandry of the Giants passing the Dodgers and the Cubs and Dodgers being locked in the Wild Card race. What the F.? I feel like the goofy bald dude in "The Princess Bride" trying to figure out which cup to drink from.

Shitty Sunday
In addition to another pathetic Chiefs performance and Mike Martz' pitiful play-calling, the Parsons Baseball Club (I think we should be the Parsons Baseball Regiment, even though that implies government rule, just so we could be the PBR) lost a heartbreaker in 10 innings. We blew a 10-5 lead in the ninth and lost on a 2-run shot in the 10th. I didn't get any hits, just two walks. My OBP is .556, though, after two games. If only my fielding percentage were that high.

Rolla-ing along
The Pitt State Gorillas racked up 91 points and more than 800 total yards, both conference records, against our beloved sister school UM-Rolla. PSU's kicker also booted a conference-record 13 extra points. The Gorillas scored only 7 of those points in the first quarter. Jeez. I'm glad that one was on the road, so I didn't have to go. And I thought the 77-7 and 69-0 games were snoozers.

Make believe is fun

Here's a note about my links. "Dis is Tawmb" isn't really Tom anymore. It links to the Web site that used to be Tom's blog, but isn't anymore. It is really fun, though, to read it and pretend Tom wrote it. Try it sometime. That's why I left it on there.

Hooray for golf, bigger hooray for free golf
I compromised my journalistic ethics today. When I showed up to the local golf course to play 18 on foot, the guy who runs the place says, "I'm gonna comp you today. Take cart No. 74 there, it's ready to go." So I says, "OK. I won't argue with that." And away I went. I bought some $45 golf shoes from him, though, so it all evens out.

If approached about this occurrence by one or both of my superiors, my response will be something to the effect of: "I would have said no, but I can't really afford to rent a cart on my salary."

God damn Giants
The Giants won't lose. Ever. I hate Barry Bonds. May he be infested with the fleas of 1,000 camels, and may his arms be too short to reach the itch. Go Cubs.

He dead.

Four found dead in Parsons apartment. Clearly, I'm not one of them. Surprisingly, I wasn't the shooter, either. Big news from the small town, though.

What now?
My new obsession is down until Wednesday or Thursday. Not cool. Not cool at all.

How 'bout them Trojans...no, not those Trojans.
In case you haven't heard, Troy lost to New Mexico State. There goes the "they're a pretty good team" defense. In happier news, the Jayhawks lost to Northwestern. Ha.

Bd. is out, off the list

That's the quote from rabid sports fan Megan J., calling to inform me that Brad Smith has thrown another interception and the Tigers are going to lose to Troy State (sic).

I'm a little more forgiving of Bd., saviour of the program, but, come on, these guys were DII a few years ago, playing the likes of the aforementioned Pitt State Gorillas.

In a related note, does Missouri have a thing about scheduling teams that may or may not have dropped the word "state" from their names. Remember the Middle Tennessee State or no State confusion? Anyone? Anyone?

The Tigers damn near lost that one, too. Thank God for Mike Matheny. Ha.

Meanwhile, for at least one week, the hated Jayhawks are the best team in the Big 12 North, beating up on G.Pink's former squad. I had hoped the Rockets would get me off the hook from the berating I'm going to get in the wake of the Troy Travesty. At least the purple people will have to keep their traps shut.

That's domination, homes

In a pleasing turn of events, the Ridgefield Squirrels dominated their season-opening fantasy football game, scoring a league-high 118 points.

Yeah, baby.

Daunte Culpepper, Shaun Alexander and T.O. are offically my boys.

In a related note, the Pittsburg State Gorillas (No. 4 NCAA Division II) amused me for a while Saturday night, then bored me to death in a 77-7 win against (not over) Truman State. Remind me, why do we have to stick around for quotes?

The Gorillas did it without their stud starting QB. The backup went for 378 total yards, four rushing TDs and two passing TDs. He left with 6 minutes left in the third quarter.

In a bit of a downer, the Parsons Baseball Club lost its opener in the SEK Men's 25-and-over baseball league. We dropped a heartbreaker 15-14 in 10 innings. Yours truly went 3-for-5 and, in the bottom of the ninth, poked a one-hop double off the wall in right-center, moved to second on a passed ball and scored on a sac fly to shallow left. Not bad for a dude who hasn't played baseball in 10 years, eh.

My body is feeling the effects today, but a good time was had by all.

SEK...Land of shitty grocery stores

Another sign that should go up ASAP. I went to all three (that's right, three) grocery stores in town today in search of Megan's favorite soup, Uncle Ben's Broccoli and Cheese Soup. Did they have it? No. No. And No.

The first one apparently had it, but was sold out, same verdict as two weeks ago. I don't think they ever ordered it back in.

The second doesn't carry any Uncle Ben's soups. A bit too much of an obscure brand, I guess.

The third, Save-A-Lot, doesn't appear to carry ANY brand name stuff. You might think they do, because the generic brands they carry impersonate the real name brands pretty well. But no Uncle Ben's.

Also of note, none of the grocery stores carry those little fake lemons filled with lemon juice that prevent you from squeezing the bejeezus out of a real lemon for one tbsp. of juice.

I'm moving. Soon.

Master Bait and Liquor

That's what an actual sign say down here. It's between Moran and Erie on U.S. 59 south of Lawrence if anyone needs to make a road trip to see for themselves (i.e. Tom Wyrwich).

Master Bait and Liquor. Can you believe it? I can't. Who would give oral sex without expecting it in return.

Seriously, though, who names their business that? Apparently some jackass in east central Kansas who runs a bait and liquor store. Nevermind. It makes sense now.

Welcome to Southeast Kansas...where there is no air conditioning

That's what the signs should say down here, as it applies to gymnasiums and press boxes. That's right, it's hotter than a mofo in the gyms, and even the press box at Pitt State (NCAA Div. II) is without the basic amenity of air conditioning.

I love having to take a shower after going to cover a volleyball game, which, by the way, is another post for another day (or maybe later this afternoon).