Life in the SBC (southern Beaufort County)

So it doesn't really rival The O.C. — though I did contemplate throwing down a patented Ryan Atwood turn-back cold-cock on a bish the other night, but that's a story for a more private forum — but we have our share of drama. A few anecdotes.

• The big story right now is that of Carol Z., a 26-year-old woman in an SUV who hit a 59-year-old Vietnamese woman on a bike and killed her. While awaiting charges, Carol Z. thought it wise to use the message boards on my paper's Web site as a sounding board. This started a ridiculous war of words that has become quite comical. The message board battles escalated last week when Carol Z. was charged with "driving too fast for conditions," a charge that would add two points to her license. I think some people are about to start a lynch mob.

Read all about it here.

• In other news, this part of the county is overrun with old folks, thanks in large part to a development called Sun City. It's basically a little gated town for old people. Now these people have some moderate to serious dough, and they're old, so they think they can get whatever they want whenever they want it. Around here, we call them an "old man/woman with a mandate."

On such fellow was at the Ford dealership's service department at the same time as me the other day. They told this Wilford Brimley-looking dude they wouldn't be able to finish fixing his car that day, so they offered him a free loaner. He was none too pleased, but begrudgingly accepted (I don't think he had a viable alternative, but that doesn't concern these codgers). When he signed the loaner agreement, he showed the first signs of just how strong his mandate is.

Cashier: I just need you to sign this.
Old man: (signs paper)
Cashier: What did you just sign? Why don't you read it while I'm typing this up?
Old man: I don't want to read it.

So he didn't. Finally, they led the old dude to his 2005 Lincoln Town Car, and he went on his way. But moments later, I see him pull up on the other side of the building and begin arguing with one of the service dudes. Eventually, they come inside, where it is explained to the old man that they do not have a detailing facility, and therefore, they cannot WASH HIS LOANER VEHICLE for him. Apparently, the old bastard found his free loaner a bit too grimy for his taste.

• Finally, we'll end on a good note. For the first time since moving here in July, I hit the golf course twice in the past four days. I know that sounds crazy — living here for six months without playing golf — but I haven't had the time or the money. But Monday's experience reminded me precisely why living here is the shizzle.

On Dec. 12, I played 18 holes of free golf on the vaunted Harbour Town Golf Links, home of The Heritage Classic. It was 60 degrees and sunny. As close to a perfect day as one could ever experience. And when it was over, and I drove over the HHI bridges with my sunroof open, I was reminded why we put up with the crazy bastards who live here. This is a glorious place.

Hope y'all aren't snowed in too deep!